Ever just have one of those days? Just for some small reason, or no reason you just get a case of the blues? Today has been a day like that for me! Actually, today there is a reason. Today is Desi’s birthday. She woulda been 22 years old today. I think about her often, and I miss her. Desi and I weren’t the best of friends, but we were friends. She meant something to me, she touched my heart. I never thought of Desi as an addict, even though I knew she was. My sister has seen this side of her, I have not. I am sure there were times when she was around and she was high…but I didn’t notice. I chose not to notice. I remember a conversation she and I had awhile back (several years ago) on my birthday. I was so mad at her I was crying, and I asked her to get help. I pleaded and probably begged for her to get help, and told her I would support her in anyway that I could. I didn’t see her that often after that. She was in and out of jail, and in and out of treatment. A few weeks before she died I was sitting on my couch upstairs, like I always am, and I heard the door open. It was Tish, and its never out of the ordinary for someone to just walk in my house on any given night. She was really happy saying “I have a surprise for you!” It was Desi! I was really happy to see her! I hadn’t seen her in awhile and she had just gotten out of jail. She greeted me with her normal giant hug and an excited “JOSA!!!!!!” We talked about a lot of things, I asked her how she was doing, how life was going for her, exchanged numbers, and we talked about her future for a bit. Same ol Desi.
Then, before I left for Vegas in July I talked to her briefly over facebook. She asked what I was doing in Vegas and I told her, work stuff. She told me to have fun and be careful. Probably a week later I got a call from Tish that Desi had overdosed on heroin and passed away. Such a wonderful little spirit she had, a warm heart, and an outstanding presence. She always made you feel important to her, and always let you know that she cared about you. I don’t know why I decided to write this today. There are a lot of things I don’t understand about the world. Why someone so special was afflicted with such a terrible disease, and why she had to go. Why certain people stay who arent good people. Life is a mystery for me……all I can say is that I miss you Des. I hope you have a happy birthday and ill see you again one day, and I hope I am greeted with the same ol big hug I always got….
Then, before I left for Vegas in July I talked to her briefly over facebook. She asked what I was doing in Vegas and I told her, work stuff. She told me to have fun and be careful. Probably a week later I got a call from Tish that Desi had overdosed on heroin and passed away. Such a wonderful little spirit she had, a warm heart, and an outstanding presence. She always made you feel important to her, and always let you know that she cared about you. I don’t know why I decided to write this today. There are a lot of things I don’t understand about the world. Why someone so special was afflicted with such a terrible disease, and why she had to go. Why certain people stay who arent good people. Life is a mystery for me……all I can say is that I miss you Des. I hope you have a happy birthday and ill see you again one day, and I hope I am greeted with the same ol big hug I always got….
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